Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
