Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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