Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
