Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize