clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
