I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
