their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
