I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
