So drunk its hurt
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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