I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
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That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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