ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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