pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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