She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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