Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
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Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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