Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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