I think my vagina is haunted
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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