i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
