mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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