She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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