Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
