ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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