There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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