how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize