if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
