a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
