What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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