Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
