I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize