My first STD was from a foam party
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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