One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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