Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize