so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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