what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
