shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
