pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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