I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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