u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize