I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
