i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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