I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
