if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
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He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think your dad took our porno
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.