I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.