Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?

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  (414): dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down (920): wtf? who are you bitching about me to now? http://tfl.nu/k0ih
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (1424)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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  (703): i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days! (804): Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us! (703): well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted. http://tfl.nu/ybes
  Replies (48) Good night (5860) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?

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  (646): So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name? http://tfl.nu/3tte
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (3740)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.

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  (240): Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS. http://tfl.nu/2m4m
  Replies (128) Good night (27958) Bad night (2178)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

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  (407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store http://tfl.nu/25ph
  Replies (86) Good night (14750) Bad night (2548)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot

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  (505): I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot http://tfl.nu/gw1u
  Replies (380) Good night (2211) Bad night (54346)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy

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  (517): if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy http://tfl.nu/rglc
  Replies (22) Good night (5015) Bad night (1771)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...

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  (570): Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings... http://tfl.nu/2ar0
  Replies (6) Good night (974) Bad night (2142)
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  (456): View more from

  Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here

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  (456): Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here http://tfl.nu/rved
  Replies (2) Good night (804) Bad night (1807)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

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  (732): why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos? http://tfl.nu/di91
  Replies (14) Good night (3748) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.

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  (949): Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits. http://tfl.nu/xzwv
  Replies (4) Good night (2427) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy

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  (701): All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy http://tfl.nu/indb
  Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.

  (917): View more from New York City

  can you adopt me?

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  (585): my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now. (917): can you adopt me? http://tfl.nu/i9vb
  Replies (1) Good night (1115) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend

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  (610): I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend http://tfl.nu/i89p
  Replies (3) Good night (514) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

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  (406): That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ierd
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (225)

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