I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?