Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together

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(719): View more from Colorado

Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am

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(919): View more from North Carolina

You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?

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(631): View more from New York

figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.

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