The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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