I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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