Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think people are normalizing furries
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
