writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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