This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
