4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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