I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
