just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
