Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize