I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
