O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
