your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All the doctor said was why
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
