Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think my vagina is haunted
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
