I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Found your dick twin last night
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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