thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
