I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
