just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
