how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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