is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
