Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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