I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
