too bad you live with your parents still
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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